notes from the queen

This is your brain....

2010-03-20T16:10:00.003-05:00

Finally, a marriage book based on facts! I typically stay away from marriage books because they are typically written in a subjective fashion. I am high feelings person & live in the subjective spot most days, but when I need help, I don't look to other feely types, I look for objective thinkers. In marriage books & speakers, Dr. Earl Henslin gets a gold star for bringing the objective work of science in a easy to read & apply to life format.

There are many types of lovers out there. I happen to fall into the scattered lover category. Within the scattered lover category, he describes many types of scattered people & what makes them biologically scattered. I cried tears of relief when I read why I struggle so hard with marriage. It is more than just the damn hardest job on the planet, but add in that you are struggling each day with your physical DNA inside your head, the job is twice as hard.

Also, within the book, he lists several resources. I have not checked out the plethora of information, but I am glad it is there as a confessed nerd junkie. The other resource he offers is a special focus to slow down & not apply it all at once. Rather read this section ONLY & don't move forward in the book until you believe you are ready. After 3 weeks at part 1, I am ready to consider moving on in the material. My marriage has a place of peace that has not been present for a while.

Give yourself a Sunday afternoon...

2010-01-12T09:16:00.003-06:00

I found The Noticer by Andy Andrews compelling from start to finish. I wanted to keep flipping the pages as I found myself drowning in the story. I read this on a Sunday afternoon - a perfect way to start the week. I am not a follower of Andy Andrews, I had never heard of the guy before this book, so I feel pretty balanced in saying..I enjoyed the book!

At the end, I found myself invigorated & ready to plunge into the week. The book restored hope as I looked at my personal life. It gave me "permission" or rather courage to look at challenges from a new perspective. Let yourself be challenged by the book. It's not just a happy story & close the book. Enjoy the inspiration it will give you.

Obstacles Welcome

2010-01-12T08:55:00.002-06:00

This is the first book I read for my Thomas Nelson Book Review..which has now become Booksneeze.com (love the name & concept)!

This book has a compelling personal story of the author - Mr. De La Vega. I have deep respect & admiration for his personal desire to achieve the most out of life. I found it extremely interesting that his heritage & community were deeply recessed in America after leaving the wake of Cuba. His personal testimony adds a level of deep credibility to his words.

As far as business guide, I think that this book is written for someone young in their professional career. It will give the reader a good footing in the corporate world. Being a seasoned professional I did not find the book overly helpful as the ideas were presented for an earlier level of leadership.

What I did gain from the book is a sense of "let's go" & throw off your traditional thinking that hinders a person. I especially found his concepts of making it a visual process the most helpful tool for a seasoned leader. I suspect Mr. De La Vega to be a charismatic leader in person, however I did not feel this continued into the book.

I'm back

2009-09-09T08:33:00.003-05:00

Well..not that many have missed my blog out there..but I am back.

What am I doing?

Studying to take the board exams for hearing instruments.
Being mom.
Cooking.
Reading books for thomas nelson & reviewing them.

What will this blog do?

Some combination of above.

Summer Reading...

2008-07-25T15:10:00.002-05:00

I have been absently away from a computer when I am in recreation mode. It's summer. Summer's are meant for outside (which I am lacking), hands in dirt (which I am lacking) & swimmng (which really bugs me as an old person these days).

But reading has found it's way back into my world!

I've always been a reader, it was how I escaped a childhood surrounded by sawdust. One summer I read ALL - yes - ALL the Nancy Drew books...isn't that normal? I thought so...it was like 147 books...normal completely normal way to escape..

I digress...

When stress is high for me - books offer much comfort for a respite. I thought I would offer some feedback on the books I've been reading & let you wonder about this odd assortment:

No Reservations - Anthony Bourdain
The Firstborn Series - Karen Kingsbury
The Christmas Scrapbook - Phillip Gulley
The Pulpwood Queens Guide to Life - Kathy Patrick
Typhoid Mary - Anthony Bourdain
Lots of books about Monkeys for Quinten (my next reader for sure, we cannot read to him enough)
Can You Keep a Secret - Sophie Kinsella
Home to Harmony - Phillip Gulley

So far - Typhoid Mary has gripped me the most. I had heard of Mary Mallon in the past & knew something about her as typhoid Mary. Basically, this woman was discovered of being a healthy live carrier of typhoid disease. Her occupation was personal chef. This equals to many becoming sick both unknown & known to Mary. Anthony Bourdain tackles the subject of Mary through the eyes of one chef to another. Why did Mary choose to continue to cook after knowing the facts? Was she a killer or an honest woman finding work? Why did she respond the way she did when confronted?

It's a gripping tale. If you can find it at the library I recommend it. On 'used' on Amazon it starts at $125 bucks...it took me about 3 hours to read it cover to cover..if your time is worth $125 then spend the bucks!

What gripped me is what Bourdain described as the desire of chefs who truly engage in their careers. I am so butchering his statement I wish I had the direct quote. BUT he states that true chefs live in their kitchens because they are not part of 'that world'. Chefs have their own safe & ordered world in the kitchen. 'Out there' is out of control & chaos. But in the kitchen there is order as the world 'should be'.

No wonder I enjoy cooking so much. I am unashamedly guilty of enjoying that solace of a kitchen. It's warm safe & under control. I am full control of the 'should be' order of my world in the kitchen. I like it that way.

Once I realized that small poignant truth about myself, I fully embraced the position Mary found herself in. She tried other professions, but after being in control & leader of the homes she worked in - anything less just didn't fit the bill. Mary was definitely not understood or represented well in the public arena of her life. Yet, she lived well & had several friends - took solace in those relationships. The more I read, the more I liked Mary. I get that desire for some measure of control when chaos is supreme.

This book really engaged my deep desire for security & calm in ways that were clear cut & simple. There has been very little security or calm in my world since this spring. Yet, I am asked by my chosen career 'mom' to provide that for my kids. yet, I remain tossed & chaotic. This is the world I balance in & out of daily.

Typhoid Mary really brought new words & perspective as I watched this woman live out her life with a disease that haunted her relationships & professional career. She was not safe even when in her world of order & serenity 'the kitchen'. Near the end of the book I found myself loosing touch with that longing of order. Perhaps moving a bit in step with the chaos. Time will tell how close I will let myself step into the chaos, but so far so good. But I really still like my kitchen.

Gratitude #4 - Tips

2008-07-02T18:07:00.003-05:00

I haven't picked this thread up for a while - I dropped off at number 3 I think - mainly because I wanted to be so cool & creative & have some funky graphic to go with this post - well too bad. I have next to no time for creative graphics these days!

I love quick tips. I am a collector of info. I learn by literally absorbing info from many sources - repacking it all & then bringing out the results. Some fancy people call this process of learning - synthesis - OK ideas are not complete for me unitl the details are put together to make a whole idea.

So I am really grateful for tips.

Information that is fast & easy to get your hands on. Real Simple is a gratifying place for my curiousity. I am not looking for in depth analyis - I am lookng for the answers & moving on... Is that called cheater peter?? Heck no, I call it efficient.

Here are some great tips I've read lately & frequent:

Dumb Little Man- How to get help around the house (passive agressive site - funny)

Family Meetings - need to add this back into my life

And from my awesome hair stylist - Amy, Treja Salon - to tame my curly eyebrows - rub some hair gel on them (thanks Amy!)

Some final notes - I want to keep moving - slowing down for indepth analysis on EVERY subject that crosses my mind would drag me down - to keep my life level, tips fit the bill!

'Remember when life's path is steep to keep your mind even' Horace

Enough said - my life is steep daily! how about you?

A recent conversation I had...

2008-06-03T22:40:00.002-05:00

As most of you who know me well - sometimes I just don't think before I speak. I've really grown in this area, but sometimes when I'm distracted - that little oh so small filter in my head disappears.

I joined a Christian parenting support group a couple of months ago. I share life experiences with some really GREAT moms I know & we are directed by a life coach. It's a great group, between sessions we get to dialog on a web board. I made my recent entry & just made me laugh at myself & how ridiculous of a parent I can be in one moment - then fabulous the next... so here's my recent post on the mommy boards:

I used potty talk...

Really I did - how would describe hormonal teenage boys to a 10 year old girl?

YUP that's right - one word came out of my mouth:

buttholes

Rebekah was talking in the car when it was the 2 of us & I was putting on make-up while driving - so naturally that started some girl talk

'can I wear the blue mascara today mom?'

'no sweetie, let's give your skin a break' etc...did I mention we have our first zit? Oh yes, this is the summer of puberty...

Then she shared about how I embarass her sometimes because I laugh out loud - BECAUSE I LAUGH - she goes 'yeah because sometimes when you laugh, it just bursts out everywhere...it's so embarassing'

The voice in my head is saying (why am I the lonely extrovert in this family, God what are thinking, this is not right!! I want a loud child right now - oh yeah I got one of those too!! He's just 4...and a boy...I want a loud girl..yup it's pouty prayer time)

So I just sigh...she continues...
'When I get a boyfriend, I'm just going to his house all the time, I'm not coming to our house because of how you laugh..'

'Ummm what did you say? Did you just say you're going to move in with your boyfriend?' I didn't yell, it was a firm statement of 'you just did NOT!'

'No I don't mean move in with him..I mean go over to his house for like all our dates...' Rebekah responds back.

'Well..Rebekah that's where you're wrong..remember those contracts we mentioned? We're going to be working on those over the summer...the one on dating is going to have a rule about that issue...'

'What is it?' She asks...

'You don't go to boy's houses on dates, all boys come to our house.'

'Why?'

'Because teenage boys have a problem, all boys have a problem at that age & I used to date boys with this problem. But it's hard for me to explain it..'

Naturally like I've trained her to do she asks 'What's the problem?'

My response, 'They're just buttholes!'

She laughs & laughs 'What are you talking about?'

I say, 'They're buttholes because boys don't behave when they are in their own house, they're buttholes in their own homes, but when they're at the girls house, they are gentlemen.'

She still laughing & giggling 'my mom said buttholes'

I don't think Jesus ever used that word in ministry & I sure hope that was my divine permission slip to describe teenage boys - because my momma bear was coming out just thinking about it.

Please meet...

2008-05-28T09:20:00.006-05:00

I would like for you to meet our personal trainer!

Look at the way she adores Larry!

Yes, Rebekah has assumed the role of personal trainer in our getting healthy adventure. She loves to remind us in the middle of a temptation that 'you can't have that' & snatch away the chocolate covered pretzels she is daintly snacking on...lovingly she does this! 'I want you to live Daddy!' Is her other exclamation.

I realized that this beautifully fit little girl has a wealth of information on physical fitness inside her. Let's tap into it!

Let me give you an example of her physical fitness & her proud accomplishments:

Every year at school they run the physical fitness tests - remember those? Me too...would rather like to forget such devices of torture.

Rebekah has always done well due to dance in her life, but she never qualified for the big reward & honor of being in the FUN RUN! Yes, a FUN RUN (not two words I would put together, now you know how bad I need a personal trainer). It's a big deal among the kids who gets to participate in this mile run. It's held the last week of school on a gorgeous morning. To qualify to be in this infamous run, you must be invited by the coaches. Rebekah was never invited into this part of the run for the last 2 years. It was really challenging her to be left out & she was determined to make this run in 2008. She qualified for her flexibility of 6.5 inches past the end of her toes. Her body is trained to be a sprint runner & work fast because of dance, so this run really challenged her.

She was not the fastest girl out there - several ran by her - but I watched her run. She knew the limits of her own body, as the muscles fatigued on her - she slowed & took the corners with speed. She set herself up for a great pace! As she ran over the finish line she ended at 9 min 31 seconds! It was her best run time to date.

So I hired her!

She's thrilled to lead us in this area. She took us through her dance technique class which is simple strength training & flexibility excercises. Larry & I got a work out complete w/ her counting our movements, correcting our movements & her praise along the way. I asked her how many times they do this stuff in class - she smiled & said 'oh about 3 times more than what you're doing..'

I think she was calling me fat.

Our enthusiastic trainer has typed up our routine, posted it on the fridge & waits for any time to be the trainer!

Good news we had our first check in yesterday. Larry has lost 6 lbs of fat & retained muscles. I have lost 3 lbs of fat & lost a little muscle (I worked out 2 extra days & didn't have enough protein in my diet - so I get to have 3 proteins a day vs 2 proteins - thank God I'm finally full). Oh yes & I am starting day 10 of my soda sobriety - flippin' miracle!!!

Blog what???

2008-05-26T10:16:00.004-05:00

I have a ton of ideas to blog about - but ummm what do I start with?

The biggest focus in our lives is this:

WE ARE GETTING HEALTHY!

Notice I didn't say... we are on a diet...I am kicking soda....I am going to excercise..nope none of those one liner pit falls.

How many years have I wanted to kick soda? Forever, I feel like a freakin' junkie (which I am just your average lovable addict). I went from hard core COKE to Dt Pepsi when I kicked the sugar addiction of '06. Yes, I keep track of days, have to..they all count!

Larry's health has been screaming out of control since last year. We cannot pull his body out of a downward spiral it seems like. Yes, I am owning part of this because he is my husband. Some may say..ughh it's his body - his job...yes, but who grocery shops & feeds this family? Defintely not him!!! He was recently diagnosed w/ high blood pressure & given the firm warning - you are cruising rapidly towards type 2 diabetes. Larry has a high family history of heart disesase so these warnings are a little larger to us.

So what do you do with all that? Get serious - was our response!

We have gone hard core on metagenics through our awesome doc - Dr Amanda. We have totally altered our eating in a very realistic way - I am on 1300 calories a day - Larry is on 1600 calories a day. Lots of water on top! Plus we are adding in some excercises - can you believe it? We actually look forward to walking together at night!!! All of that in one week - phew - one week - only 2 more to go before it's a permanent change.

The most amazing part is that I have not had a soda in a week! I have tried desperately to kick soda & never been able to achieve it. Yesterday we were at a picnic all afternoon, in the cooler was a lovely 12 pack of iced dt pepsi's glistening like jewels...felt my inner pirate groan 'arrrggghhhh' with delight as the treasure chest was opened for display. I realized I was in deep sh+++*** battle of an addiction. My mouth went dry - does this happen to anyone else? My mouth turns dry at the thought of something that is an addiction - this makes it even harder!

Larry & I had a long team discussion of how to attend such a gathering - yes we would allow some pleasures - he was going to have a beer. I actually said, well I may have a soda. We went into the picnic confident about our choices. Larry has his beer, which really didn't matter as he was the grill master so I think he had 2 waters immediately following the beer - it was hot on the grill. I thought about it - soda? soda? Hmmm think I will get out my trusty key lime & water bottle. I love limes can eat them straight, love them so much! I ponder & grip the edges of the lawn chair - soda? soda? it will not leave my head soda? soda?

Finally I just say loudly 'I'm not having a soda!' (Really, I wasn't talking to anyone other than my head)

Larry just looks at me & smiles. "I'm so proud of you"

I realize that this is only a battle for the day, the war is not over by far, but for 7 days I won the battle. It's 10:45 & Larry just called to tell me 'I'm so proud of you not having a soda' Wow!!! What support!

In case you are wondering - I did splurge on 2 pieces of Texas Sheet Cake & about 10 tortilla chips when our friend Robin showed up w/ the Pioneer Woman's Pico sauce - come on it's the pioneer woman's sauce!!!

Scrap is back!!

2008-04-28T07:29:00.004-05:00

I have been on a whirlwind trip this winter! I started a job in Jan that has added a lot of good things to my life. I like the job, but bummer - it takes time to work. Unfortunately, it took away a lot of my playtime because it was hard to adjust for fun when there are so many 'needs to be done' in any day!

Yesterday I felt miserable - back pain (still have it), a spring cold & naturally boom my gender strength appears! I could do nothing other than keep a level temper because I felt that bad!!!

My lovely hubby though became the knight in shinning armor when on his way home from work he asks, 'Is it time for M&M's? You know it's almost here.'

Me: 'What? How's that possible? How do you know these things - I don't even know!'

Him: 'Oh I know.'

Me: 'Well, I don't need any M&M's.'

30 minutes later & a quick bathroom break confirms what hubby thought to be true. Seriously, isn't that amazing? OK you all might not think this is the most appropriate blog subject - but hey he's my knight & I have to brag...I'm not done yet!

So I sent him a text: bring m&m's

And I hit the bed for a 2 hour nap - ahhhhh that felt good - so I stumble into the kitchen & find a 2 lb bag of M&M's waiting for me!!! He got the big bag!!! What a guy!!!! Can I say it again????

I poured me a few in a coffee cup (hides it from the little guy) & went happily to my computer where I sat down & made this:

Ahhh now that was the most restful Sunday I've had in a long time!

Big Thoughts

2008-04-22T06:48:00.000-05:00

Man's mind, once stretched by a new idea, never regains its original dimensions.

Oliver Wendell Holmes

Words are good!

2008-04-14T07:11:00.002-05:00

Feelin' a little like Earl lately - perhaps not such a bad thing - if you have started watching Earl again, I'm talking about the Karma workin' Earl.

Things have been moving at an incredible pace around here. We have had lots of work stress, life stress & travel stress. I have been just wanting to STOP!

I stopped over the weekend & literally could not think about this week. I slept & ate. That's all I had the energy to do. I got some great relaxation in with kids & life felt calmer.

Monday morning I was just not feeling the go more than usual. Have I made a good choice to go back to work - is it really worth the few dollars? I have paid a high price for making this choice, but then there is a high price to stay home that's been paid as well. I was having one of those mornings where the idea of being an adult really wasn't pleasing, I just wanted to play!!!

I open up the email & look at the following quote:

"I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next. Delicious ambiguity". Gilda Radner, 1946-1989

I have run into this quote several times in the last 5 years. Usually on a day when I feel like just stopping. My favorite part of this quote that gears me back into perspective is 'taking the moment & making the best of it' Usually my funks are driven by the fact that I have lost my ability to persevere & take the moment for what they are or are not.

So when Q starts pushing hard & having a breakdown - I am able to calm down & look at him for the moment - realized he is not always going to be this way, his dramas will change.

Or when I spend all weekend at a loud dance compeition, hmmm my life won't always be this noisy.

What is the perspective you need to recapture?

(today it's cleaning my house)

Good LORD - Bitter old lady

2008-04-12T08:23:00.006-05:00

Are you wondering if this is a view of me in the future?

Good LORD!

Many of you know my experiences in public with check out people or people walking by will stop & have a moment of intimate conversation about a life issue & then walk on...this is nothing new, been going on for years. I generally just roll with it & find grace in the moment. She's always there...

Back to the real story of the cranky old lady (B if you're reading this you know I have to follow that bird - just giggled like crazy imagining you reading this thinking..when is the plane going to land?)

So I am at Wal-Mart on Grindstone Parkway (if you go to Wal-Mart in Columbia, I am asking you to harass this old lady - I am not joking). I have my 12 items in my basket - the kind you carry, so I qualify for the fast line without enraging the public that I may have 21 items. C'mon you know you count the items of all the people in line too! It's 5:15, I am watching the clock & my clock on my cell fastidiously b/c I have to pick Q up by 5:45 & pick up McD stuff for Larry by 6:00 - so my infamous time management skills are being put to the test. I am totally into my head & floating around the clock & going through the motions of check-out at Wal-Mart.

While in my mind, I place my basket up on the counter of the express lane, you know the counter that is approx. a 1x1 ft square? Too small to do squat with? I wait & my turn is next...

"I can't believe you did not empty your basket! I've never had anybody just set their basket up here & expect me to empty it."

This was all said with pure venom of bitter old lady - I snap out of my head - hmmm I've heard that sound before I think - oh yeah snippy old lady who is always always bitter & right.

"Excuse me, what did you say?" I ask (why do I ask for a sparring match, sometimes it's just instinct to fight back, so the fight began)

Adele (yes her name is ADELE) says grumpily 'nevermind'.

Me: 'Huh...I thought heard you being snippy.' That flew out of my mouth before I thought it out, really went out flying...my response to deal with this crap was pure instinct b/c I was not going to take crap from the bitter old lady..ummm done that enough...now have some level of self-respect..don't have to take it.

Adele: 'I don't understand why you didn't unload your basket. You just put it up & expected me to unload it for you!"

Me: 'Well, if that is a problem for you, then put everything back in the basket & I will leave. I will go to another line, I don't need to be here. Pack it up!'

Adele: now throwing the items out roughly 'No that's OK, you don't need to do that' in the classic victim tone I have heard many times before...

Me: 'No really, I don't want to hear you being snippy, put the stuff back.'

Adele: now in a pouty voice 'Just forget I said anything at all, I shouldn't have opened my mouth. I've been here for 8 hours & I'm off in 10 minutes.'

Me: not giving into this behavior because now I feel like a little girl & my mother is pulling this crap out - really it was pretty strong response to this crap from nowhere...'Well it sounds like you still have 10 minutes of work to do.'

Adele: muttering and bagging at this point...

Me: returning to my head & finding myself a little impressed that I didn't take this crap or become sympathetic at her woe is me line. & get played a fool...wait until Larry hears this one.

I pay as quick as I can, I scanned my debit card so fast that the card reader couldn't read it. So of course Adele takes this tone of you poor idiot girl & instructs me how to use it. Ughhh I thought this was the express lane...it has now turned into customer hell....it's never going to end.........

I get the bags off the round-about, I'm not even waiting for her to have the chance to spin it for me...but Adele sees this as her moment for the final blow...

She comes around the spinny baggy thingy & grabs my arm! YES SHE TOUCHES ME!!!

Wrong move lady, you do not touch me when I am angry, I may just hit you. Really, there is an auto response for me to hit if I get touched when angry or upset, it's a big rule for me...

Adele says: 'Are we good honey? Don't mind me, don't let me get to you, don't take it so personally..' drippy drippy false sincerity.

Me: Inside 'don't hit don't hit don't hit - oh that's it woman with the insincerity, you just crossed my last line of wrong - please let me just give a little push - come on one little shove off of me? no she'll break a hip, don't do it'

Me: I pull away from her claws as roughly as I can & say 'I have to go, I don't have time for you.' & I walk off.

I thought about going straight to customer service, but didn't, by now it's 5:30 & I have to get my son. That's infinitely more important than that old bag. Then I think..I can't wait to blog about this!

Reflecting back on this I wanted to start an Adele protest & have all of you go thump your baskets on her counter. I know I mentioned that there is a moment I find grace in these encounters & all I found was that I didn't respond w/ physical assault when touched.

OKAY - so what brought back this experience? Last night at Conley Rd Wal-Mart I go to the express lane with my 3 items. Are you wondering why I put myself through these things voluntarily? Are you wondering if Adele was there waiting for me just like a spider (Gone w/ the Wind line)?

Nope, I check out, this is a gal I've had many times & she's a chipper young gal who works very hard. I am in the process of getting checked out. Someone comes up & just dumps their items on the 1x1 counter & gets all mixed up in my stuff. This gal just went 'ughhhh, why can't they just leave it in the baskets!' Now she muttered this to me so the other gal didn't hear...I started laughing ... I mean really laughing.

Now just what is the etiquette?

Update on the sandwich issue...

2008-03-23T21:09:00.004-05:00

Many of you have visited my internet best friend the Pioneer Woman because of my post about the rated X sandwich post.

While we dined so fine that evening, soon afterwards my DH went for a physical & double check of cholestrol numbers. It was not good.

We also found out that he has developed high blood pressure & is cruising towards diabetes.

In short, I think I am killing him! We are making a lot of adjustments to our eating lifestyle that are small but significant. Breakfast is a must in our house now! We are working on DH not eating at work - this is the real contributor to his health 20+ years of McD's cruising through his system is going to catch up!

I am writing about this because I am so proud of the BIG life changes he has made in a short time. Also, to encourage you that if you're waiting on your boy to change, keep waiting it does happen - this waiting almost killed me - but wait for him to make these changes is worth it!

He has begun a rigurous vitamin & nutrient supplements. We have always joked about getting old together & who would be the first to get a pill box. He won! I am proud that he loads this little discreet box daily.

This is in the spirit of the Pioneer Woman...

The cast of characters: Gymnema, Tuna Omega-3 oil, Cardio-Plus, Folic Acid & Pill Box loaded for the next day!

Also, he has joined me in the no sugar diet change as well. Yet, he is ahead of me - way ahead of me in the soda dept. He has kicked drinking soda - a lifelong Mt Dew drinker has kicked his habit. I have not been successful in this one. Sigh...maybe someday soon!

YIKES almost a month???

2008-03-23T20:24:00.007-05:00

So it's been a month! I have heard many of you say UPDATE!

Here's the fast update of the last month:

new job

new routines

new business

new dance season

new issues w/ DS

mom having surgery

mother-in-law having surgery

business in slump

DS roller skates 1st time

Helped friend do a lunch for 75 after the loss of her mother

Kick butt easter holiday

Spring Break has started....

I haven't had any time to relax & regroup. I started journaling some last week. It felt good to get some words out of my soul. There's a definite backlog going on & creativity has been slowed to a trickle. Here's some quick pics of our easter:

This was his pirate face argggg showing off me treasures!

All together before the big hunt! We made age level easter egg hunts. The little guy went first in the preschool division, his eggs were located throughout the backyard. Then we moved into the intermediate division & hid the big kids eggs in the woods. They each had a marked trail to follow to find their eggs. The big kids had to use their best letterboxing skills to find eggs from high to low. It was the best egg hunt ever!

It really gave me delight to hide the eggs for them. When I went out to hide them, all of a sudden a blustery wind started with a huge down pour of snow! It was a burst of snow that reminded me of Little House on the Prairie where they had the long winter & the late snow that killed many in the town because no one was prepared for such a large amount of snow. It was beautiful to be in the woods in the bluster of white & thrilling to think we may have one last snow day! I was ready to snuggle in with the kids one more time before spring.

Totally relaxing and replenishing to do that for & with the kids. They had a blast finding their eggs. You can see all the pics on my facebook profile.

Lord Have Mercy! It's good!

2008-02-25T23:04:00.004-06:00

I have to tell you about this dinner! I normally post this on the Freezer Chicks, but this isn't a frozen meal & it was good food!

I had a sweet friend call me a 'foodie' the other day - I was so proud! All I was doing was handling the menu at Houlihan's over & over - exclaiming look at this - look at that! I stared down every bit of that menu! I guess that makes me a foodie!

I adore this woman's blog The Pioneer Woman. A dream getaway would be to spend a few days with this amazing foodie on her family farm & enjoy the pleasure of eating at her dinner table. Not only that, but talk about funny! You have to read between the pictures to get her humor, but if you go too fast you will miss it.

I saw this recipe months ago. I tucked away in the back of my brain & heart because I had a huge desire to pull it out & knock the socks off my sweet hubby. I can guarantee your man or whoever you feed this to will do anything for you. It's that good.

Sunday I spent the day in the kitchen. I needed to be doing freezer cooking for my group, but decided against it. I spent the day cooking for joy. I enjoyed the process of making a carrot cake from scratch for my son. He loves carrot cake..he even convinced Misti to make him a carrot cake! He's a charmer! I remembered this recipe for the Marlboro Man's Favorite Sandwich & thought immediately of Larry (we will be renaming this as larry hates anything to do with cigarettes - ok well the sandwich is still da$#!@%m good)

I stood over the pan and marvelled at how the worcestershire & butter just glazed the beef & onions. I inhaled deeply that aroma - it was too good. I squealed at Larry to come smell..and yes, he squealed too.

Then we ate it.

And we enjoyed it.

And my sweet hubby had another sandwich.

And he ate it.

And he hurt for an hour afterwards.

And he asked for more.

There was much pleasure in that sandwich. So much pleasure that it should have a rating of X.

Try it & post back your results here. I bet they're the same as ours!

Best Daddy Award!

2008-02-23T07:10:00.004-06:00

You think I would be giving this to my own hubby today - and I do give this to him everyday - but this guy totally rocked my world!

This is our good friend Allen. Allen recently got a job at a big swanky company that is fairly obscure - his wife is proud of him & so is our family! Allen will now be travelling with said swanky job & wanted a way to be connected with his kiddos.

So he started a blog like an red blooded American tech geek! But he is writing this blog to his kids everyday. He talks about his big swanky job in kid terms that make it fun & exciting, plus he has props for each one of his children.

Click on his picture to go see his blog, you will enjoy seeing where mini meow meow, R2D2 & Thomas the Tank Engine travel on this big swanky adventure!

WTG Allen - your family is so proud of you & we are all supporting you!

Dance Season HAS BEGUN!

2008-02-09T21:05:00.000-06:00

It's official!

Dance season has started. The work to get ready is impressive! The kids work so hard to pull it off and have fabulous results.

Everyone always asks what they are dancing to..so I thought I would post some links to videos of the songs by the artists.

First Up - My Strongest Suit:

Show Off:

Big Blonde & Beautiful - go rent hairspray to see the fabulous Queen Latifah sing this!

I will post more later...gotta go play guitar hero with the fam!

Gratitude 2 - Free to Fail

2008-01-31T18:15:00.000-06:00

It's been a month since I blogged and all my wonderful digi & IRL friends are wondering where I am at! If they find me, I hope I'm good!

Okay - while I haven't been around here doesn't mean I haven't been thinking & doing something - I know amazing that we do anything besides sit in front of this beautiful glowing screen.

I recently got asked what my favorite quote was, well I love quotes so I have a bazillion of them! They speak different thoughts into my brain at different times, so I love anything that has a quote for a month on them.

Here's the quote in my MomAgenda this month:

A Life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing. - George Bernard Shaw

I used to waste a lot of mental energy and a fair amount of anxiety if I was always doing the right thing - if it was making others happy and avoiding the dreaded fear of failure all the time! When I started working at Woodcrest, it wasn't long before I was introduced to the idea that failure is progress. 'It's better to do something poorly, than to not do it all.' is what Rod always says.

There's a lot of truth in that.

How in the world am I supposed to know if whatever endeavor is going to take off and be successful? My anxiety and frustration spent trying to make something work only ended in futile efforts and complete failure by crashing and buring in exhaustion. This is the reason they make anti-depressants!

This last month I have started a new part-time job & I am working my freezer cooking business at the same time. I am busy. Both are completely new adventures. The freezer business is my own personal endeavor that has my name & my pal Misti's name on the line. We are both deeply passionate about families having time together especially meal times. Do I know if this business is going to tank? No. Do I have every perfect business plan drawn up before we launched? No. We just got moving.

and it's working!!!

All that energy in the past to make something just so so perfect before taking the risk was really wasted energy. Nothing ever took off because it got lost in good idea land or in perfectionism. The risk was too great so I buriend in those two things. yeah me.

Next I started my part-time job at a local real estate office. I know nothing about the in's and out's of real estate. But I said yes when they called. Yes, out of personal relationship with a partner of the company, they called me. Can I do what they are asking? So far yes. Is there hints of it moving into new things I am aware of, but need more information on? Absolutely! I am thrilled by the challenge and the idea of learning a new business.

So what are you avoiding failing? Go for it - and if it fails - so what? Just like the above quote says ...you pretty much got to live because you risked a mistake!

You say it's your birthday....

2008-01-01T12:41:00.000-06:00

It's amazing in the bloggy world how you develop 'friends' - I use the term loosely because you never meet these folks so to give a full blown relationship to them seems kind of weird (personal opinion there). BUT the wornoutwoman posted on her blog about birthday months and personalities..so go to her blog and get your birthday month and highlight what is true about you.

Here's mine:

NOVEMBER:
Has a lot of ideas. Difficult to fathom. Thinks forward. Unique and brilliant. Extraordinary ideas. Sharp thinking. Fine and strong clairvoyance. Can become good doctors. Dynamic in personality. Secretive. Inquisitive. Knows how to dig secrets. Always thinking. Less talkative but amiable. Brave and generous. Patient. Stubborn and hard-hearted. If there is a will, there is a way. Determined. Never give up. Hardly becomes angry unless provoked. Loves to be alone. Thinks differently from others. Sharp-minded. Motivates oneself. Does not appreciate praises. High-spirited. Well-built and tough. Deep love and emotions. Romantic. Uncertain in relationships. Homely. Hardworking. High abilities. Trustworthy. Honest and keeps secrets. Not able to control emotions. Unpredictable.

The black is definitely true & the orange is definitive of me! So what's your month like?

Gratitude 1 - deeply loved

2007-12-31T14:49:00.000-06:00

It's been a couple of days on my gratitude journey. I find it remarkable so far, but anything new is wonderous and full of life in my world.

A lot of life has happened since I put this idea together. I have discovered some new things about myself and conquered a large fear in the span of 2 days. At the end of it all, I have simply come to this - I am deeply loved.

Do you know if you're deeply loved? I hope so. This has been the cry of my heart for a long time. I have held back much of myself from others for many reasons, but like you, I just don't want to offer love and only be disappointed in return. Or the trust I have established and believe there to much love present, only to find out it was an illusion - the other person only wanted something from me and I gave whole heartedly, but saddened by the illusion of hope in love to be returned.

I can assuredly say that I am deeply loved. I know I have been deeply loved before I loved in return. Yet, now I am certain that this love is in the core of my soul. As I have been quiet over the last two weeks, I have sensed that I am moving in some new directions. This last season of life has been about learning to live with unrelenting disappointment. I have had so much disappointment to the point of breaking much of my stubborn ideas or holding too tightly to things out of fear or rejection. The only way to be convinced that I could continue to live is to have embraced the disappointment of those false loves before I could move onto to the next truth - unrelenting disappointment makes the heart sick, but a sudden break can turn things around.

Near the end of my season of disappointment I kept praying that I would not miss this sudden break that I was hopeful and waiting to appear. Naturally, my heart was tested in waiting. Even to the point of being served papers one morning before heading out the door to church. A notice from the courts to settle a SMALL -I mean a SMALL debt of $300 that I had no idea that was left unpaid. Yet, as I looked around and my young boy standing at the door saying to the officer 'You're not taking my mommy. You're a helper police man.' Oh how shame and despair could have won the moment.

I wanted to stay home from church - after all I had to go lead a bible study that day. Yet, I purposefully set up a group that was about living life together and helping others learn to live real life stuff out together. Maybe it was the moment I needed my group the most instead of me leading them? I will test to see if this community of women really are wanting to live life like this. They were and were willing to embrace the fact that their leader had failed in an area of life. Humiliation is the last source of unrelenting disappointment.

Starting the freezer cooking business has given me that sudden break. I have fully embraced that this is the new direction right now. It's not one I expected certainly!! But here I am, living out the moment of turning a lot of disppointment around. I feel certain that I have been living out this sudden break fully and wholeheartedly. Which leads to the next season being started.

I have found that I move in life with ideas of themes or questions or gaining a deeper understanding in an area of life. As I have thought through the last couple of weeks, the theme or idea has crept up...you are more valuable than birds...and the message continues on and ends with this idea of living careless in the care of God - that's how birds are living and it's not a bad idea to embrace the same approach in human life. Naturally, I ask - what does that mean? Careless in the care of God? What? How? Sounds like a mystery, I am self sustaining right? HA!

I am anticipating that it will challenge me in many areas, but this is a fact I know - I have to understand that I am deeply loved by God if I can even begin to embrace the idea of being careless in his care. Doesn't it suggest that a big level of trust to be established, doesn't it suggest that your heart & mind be carefree and open to the possibilities of receiving care? So many questions....but I am starting with I know I am deeply loved.

I know this from a spiritual perspective in many many many ways. Yet, the last few days have reasured my soul that my faith and trust in God really does work. I conquered a fear of the past in my present life. I conquered it with some sense of ease, calmness and certainty that who I am and what I believe are true - really do exsist - even to the point of being told 'what you know isn't true...that isn't happening'. This fight has left me sitting in confusion, despair and questioning my mental capacity to the point of I must be crazy! I am looking at a clearly blue sky, but you want me to believe you that it's green? You really want me to believe that what I am clearly seeing as truth in front of my eyes isn't true and I am the one who is considered crazy? If I can conquer this with certainty, then what I believe to be true shows that I am deeply loved.

There is much more to this story than I have shared. I wanted to share the heart and spiritual side of this battle. I hope that you can see how I believe I am deeply loved on some level. I hope you will challenge yourself in your understanding if you're deeply loved. Thank you for reading to the end of this post - I warned you, there is some serious words and inspiration that I needed to burn off when I started this blog! When I thought of writing on this subject, I trusted that it would bring out this side of me! You have been warned and I am grateful for your reading.

Gratitude 100

2007-12-29T01:16:00.000-06:00

My blog hasn't been very inspirational lately. I started off blogging to burn off some inspirational energy I had pent up & offer my gift of words a place of release - hopeful that someone would find this blog entertaining, rewarding and helpful.

So, I am starting something new & hopeful I can continue it. I am calling it the Gratitude 100. I would like to offer 100 moments that I stop and offer a moment of thanks or praise for my daily life. I am hoping the encouragement will only bring joy to the day & a small moment of worship for the God who provides me breath.

Feel free to join me. This won't involve some funky blinkie or fancy picture. Rather, let's keep it simple and honest. Post in the comments if you have a moment of gratitude.

What's up GRUMP?

2007-12-28T22:18:00.001-06:00

Well before I tell you a story of my life for the last couple of days..how about something scrappy and happy?

Here's a Christmas moment with Rebekah. Her & I spent a night on the town. Apparently, Columbia has a living windows festival to celebrate the holidays. We went downtown with a cup of hot starbucks to keep the two of us warm. We walked around and saw a couple of windows. It was great just stolling along, drinking some coffee with my girl and talking about the sights.

Everything I used is from the Creative Confusion gals and their new kit Just So Funky!

Now on to the last couple of days. I have decided that I am too d**n nice. I am out in public and for some reason folks think my polite nature is a que to take advantage or really not listen to what I am saying a simple no.

First, Q & I went to the mall for a little date to eat tacos and ride the merry go round (with a pit stop at Bath & Body at which he shouted loudly 'I don't want to go in there! It smells like girls!' and ran out into the mall.) Back to the date, we eat our tacos or really we scarf them down because we were starving after our 2 1/2 hour wait at the walk-in clinic. Q had a mystery rash and fever which turned out to be strep. Yep, that's right, I took my strep positive child to the mall ... had to contribute to the germ pool.

Now the big moment - merry go round! Q was thrilled and picked out a big colorful horse to ride. This is sweet because he has never wanted to ride a horse, always sat in a seat so as a good parent I am following his lead on the horse of his choice. We saddle up and along comes cranky ol' merry go round guy. I know this guy gets a lot of 'heat' from people, but when you're a jerk, what else can you expect? Here's our conversation:

Cranky: 'You need to get him off this horse. It's no fun. It doesn't go up and down. No fun. Move him.'

Me: 'What if he doesn't want to go up and down? What if he wants to ride this horse?'

Cranky: 'He doesn't know what he wants, get him OFF!'

Me: I grab Q and say 'Well SH**T!' In front of at least 2 other children and parents. As I am taking him off the horse of his choice, I get mad, why did I just let this guy tell me what to do with my child? Do I not look like a capable parent? Now I am mad at myself and totally ashamed (childhood programming kicking in here).

Cranky: Makes a point to follow me (this isn't a good sign, does he not know I am fuming?) 'I talked to a psychologist about this and children don't understand up and down. So I am right in telling you to move... and some other crap came out of his mouth...

Me: I just glare at the man...and say firmly....'Then if my child doesn't understand up and down, why was it necessary to move him? Just leave me alone..go away we are FINE!'

Cranky: Moves off and continues his safety check..saving me for last...he comes back around to check the buckle of Q..which of course I did wrong in his eyes...whatever dude..like he's going to go flying off this thing with his mother BEAR out in full force (because at this point I am so freaking hot I could get off the dang ride and push it around faster than it went!)...so he tries again to talk to me...

'I'm sorry for my personality.I just come off wrong a lot, but I am right. I am only thinking of the safety and enjoyment of the children.'

Me: I just look at him and think through the million things I could find wrong in his statement. You know the obvious flaw of assuming he's right or the fake apology or his misuse of psychology...instead I find it best to remain quiet and say firmly again with some serious rage in my face 'Just leave us alone.'

Cranky does so.

Now today, I am at Wal-Mart. I got a swanky bluetooth to go with my phone for Christmas. I love it. It's like taking people shopping with me and makes the process a lot more fun. I really detest wal-mart...it really causes me to become disoriented and loose what little grasp of time and money that I have (which is extremely limited).

I am busy chatting away with Janet. She's busy sharing her Christmas dramas and I see the demo table approaching. Hmmm am I hungry or interested I think? No I am not, I decide. I would rather just get the produce I need and get out. I am almost done!

I glance at the demo lady's table. It's weird. She's pimping white tea and spritzer salad dressings. The thought of the combination makes me kind of sick.

Demo Lady: 'Would you like some tea or try our dressings?' Oh I forgot to tell you, to try the dressings, they were spritzed on a baby carrot!

Me: 'No thanks'

Demo Lady: 'But the tea is ... blah blah...'

Me: Janet is on the phone saying what is she doing? again I say 'No thank you.' and I keep pushing my cart.

Demo Lady: Grabs some pamphlet and says 'Would you like our brochure that contains recipes and coupons?'

Me: You know I love recipes so I look back and glance at her pamphlet..'No THANK YOU!' And I begin to round the corner into the produce section...

Demo Lady: Now yelling at me..'BUT IT HAS COUPONS!'

Me: Janet is on the phone going ...'what's her deal?' Me: 'I don't know..did you not hear me say no thank you? why can't she get the clue?' I turn to the Demo Lady and say loudly: 'I BELIEVE I HAVE SAID NO THANK YOU!'

Demo Lady: Surprised (why I have no idea...)

Me: Into the phone to Janet...what's up with people not listening? Am I so nice..people don't take me seriously?

Now you may read this post and think I am the cranky one..and well something can be said towards that end. Truthfully, I think I must carry some aroma that says 'talk to me' and these folks who are cranky and determined think it's their open door. I love bizarre conversations I have out in public that lead to some strange places. If I was Earl, I would say Karma is playing with me...but instead I'll just roll with it and keep saying NO.

Christmas Top 5

2007-12-27T09:12:00.000-06:00

Miss Melody Ross blogged about her Christmas Top 5 and gave the challenge to do the same. Great idea to take a moment to slow down and remember something about the holiday!

1. LOW KEY - I really wanted a low key holiday this year. We stay home every year and simply enjoy the day. This year my mom joined us and wanted to have a dinner - even buying the store prepped turkey dinner - just sounded like too much work and food! I worked my tail off Christmas eve so I would do nothing on Christmas Day - no cooking or laundry. I had the great 2007 underwear and sock check - only little man had none - whipped up him some clean skivvies, made dinner and breakfast on the eve and cleaned the entire house. The rewards were wonderful! I did nothing but go with the flow of the day with my kids. Oh you want to play this game - SURE! Oh you want to play hours of Guitar Hero? Absolutely! Loved the day. **Update - the house is a mess today, but so what, we've got games everywhere!

2. DO NOTHING PARTY - So far #1 and #2 sound really lackluster, but the DO NOTHING PARTY has been a highlight of my Christmas for years. The Conspiracy Theologian's house has always been open after 12 pm for the DO NOTHING. They started this party 10 years ago or so, we were part of the original cast that showed up. Amazing we've been friends for so long, really it is amazing - there's a lot of life lived out between our 2 families! For the last 3 years since Q was born, we have not made an appearance. Too tired or too whatever the last 3 years to even go across town to be with their family. This year I was determined to go. We made it after our traditional Christmas naps! We spent the night hanging out, playing with their toys, a board game, some great soup, laughter & just connecting over the kitchen table. PERFECT - LOVE YOU GUYS LIKE CRAZY!!!!

3. QUINTEN'S CHRISTMAS LIST - Q is just the funniest, liveliest little thing. This year he was sick with a fever and mystery rash that kept growing. Even with that, he did not let it slow down his Christmas wish list. Larry took a nap with him on Christmas Eve and as they were going to sleep Larry asked him one more time, 'What did you tell Santa you wanted?'

Q replies with the following list:

Some trains (this boy loves trains)

Drumsticks

and a nose picker!

We have giggled and laughed about the nose picker. I have no idea where to acquire one and apparently he really wanted one, he's mentioned it a few times and even described the item in detail what it does. The best we can guess is he saw a commercial for a personal trimmer and translated into his brain as a nose picker to help those sticky moments!

4. REBEKAH'S BIG YEAR AS SANTA - This was the year we told our older children the legend of Santa. I didn't want this to go badly for the kids and really to understand that giving is the reason why there is a Santa to begin with. Also, shared about the original Santa from Europe and they loved it. Rebekah couldn't wait to be Santa with us. She helped get the cookies ready (which we made as a family on Christmas Eve night after church - doing that again for sure!), gifts wrapped and stockings stuffed. Our Santa uses a laptop of course - he went digital about 4 years ago when the elves wanted to keep up with him on Christmas Eve - Rebekah even wrote Q the letter from Santa this year. She explained how the nose picker just didn't make the list because the elves didn't make them and maybe they could figure out how to make one for next year.

5. CHRISTMAS EVE SERVICE @ CHURCH - Again, we bustled out the door to go to the early service. It was fine, I was not going to get stressed about it. See Low Key holiday up above...My cousin Juanita stopped by the house for a visit with my mom on Christmast Eve and we all loaded up and went to church together. It was nice to sit with some extended family. The service itself was filled with great accoustical music and the talk was perfect to give you something to think and worship about. Yet, the best part came on the way to church. There is a fund that we build up to meet needs for others throughout the year. We have given to it each year - it's a special Christmas present in my mind. This year was so tight, I didn't think we would be able to do it. On the way, I am getting ready to get out the check book and Larry says, 'I know it's Christmas and all, but I need to tell you something, we need to give more money - regularly. I can't take it anymore, we have to give.' This just made my day. My personality is to give away everything to everyone - I don't need a lot other than a haircut and brow wax (just trying to be funny).

The Generous Continues...

2007-12-20T07:39:00.000-06:00

How about some online accountability and fun? I posted about the xmas list yesterday. My DH came home from Men's Fraternity & had his plan for the day which was xmas shopping. So he asks, 'Can you please give me a specific list?' I laughed out loud and told him about my blog post.

So I made him a list & I got as specific as possible! Here is my list (word for word):

Bath & Body Works - Lotion Cool Citrus Basil is my fave, they bring it back at xmas

shirts - large

pants 14

Anything that sparkles is my fave

Eddie Bauer down vest - they are quilted and thin, prefer black green or blue (xl)

Boots - I want something with a flat heel and knock off of Uggs (9)

These aren't exactly Ugg like, but I liked them, so I printed off the page for DH!

Fuzzy Socks - the funkier the better!

Cozy Down Throw

Then I handed him my Eddie Bauer Friends card and explained how that worked and to check the friends website for sales...then I looked up and they still had free shipping and guaranteed delivery by xmas if ordered by midnight last night..so I told him about that! Are you seeing why these guys have a hard time buying for us? I couldn't make a simple specific list. Go to spot A to get item B!

To make it funnier, he did go with something from Eddie online, but he didn't check the spam folder for the confirmation email of his order! My man does not do online so this is a big deal! I am so proud of him! Of course, I told him I found it in the spam folder, but I didn't see what it was - his response was 'oh didn't know there was a spam folder.' ughhhh amazes me, the boy can run a multi-million dollar business, yet be baffled by email!

OK - last note, had a sweet & dear to my heart friend call me last night. What was he doing? Shopping for his wife. He called around 8 pm. What was he asking for? A SPECIFIC ITEM AND WHERE I GOT IT! So I told him exactly what it was and of course I bought it online. He went to the store and called me again once he got to the store to verify the name of the item.

I was enjoying this because it was my day to learn how to be specific, I couldn't do it earlier in the day, but this one I had it down. Of course, I resisted the urge to say, meet you at the store in 10 minutes to help you figure it out! Hey, he's a big boy, right? I hope it went well, I didn't follow up yet!

Generous

2007-12-19T07:33:00.000-06:00

I was turned onto these emails by my friend Jannylynn. They are from the Generous Wife (and yes, they have the hubby equivalent the Generous Husband). I subscribe to their daily email of ideas on how to be generous in marriage. We are currently half way through season 13 - and of course any good TV show can get a little BORING after 13 years. We really aren't that boring, there's plenty of drama around our house - esp if you know who lives here! But, the good kind of drama seems a little slow and long in coming like waiting for rain in the middle of a drought.

I usually don't do every suggestion on the day it arrives or I don't do them at all. But it does make me want to be a lot kinder to my DH and usually love on him in a way that fits him. For instance, I married a man who loves acts of service. You really need to feel some sympathy for this guy because I could care so less about acts of service - give me words baby! Many a woman would swoon for a man who says 'Stop doing dishes you're sick, I'll do them!' (that was yesterday). So during all the ice and snow over the last week, I thought I would love on my hubby a little generously and I grabbed the snow shovel out of the garage. I shovelled our driveway so that when he came home from work, he could rest and not get his precious toesies wet! Of course, after 3 hours and DH was home, there was more snow on the driveway. So I go outside without saying a word and begin to shovel again. He comes running out the door 'WHAT ARE YOU DOING?'

Have I mentioned, he really loves to come findng me doing stupid stuff like this, which of course could be fairly regularly.

My response was simple and pure,'I'm shovelling the driveway, I did it earlier so you wouldn't have to when you got home from work. Didn't you notice? I'm just keeping it clean.'

DH stands there with no coat on and feeling very grateful and unmanly at the same time.

So I break the silence because I love words 'Oh well, I had 8 men come out of their houses in the last 10 minutes and tell me that I was doing a man's job and where's your man, woman? I told them my man had been at work all day and was sitting on the couch.'

DH just laughs and says 'Can I have the shovel?'

Me - 'NO!'

DH grabs another shovel and starts shoveling beside me. Then I start in, 'Look my shovel gets more snow than yours!' He retorts 'Well my shovel gets more ice than yours!' DA$$$M! We enjoyed our competitive snow shovelling and each others company for a few minutes. It was good.

Today I thought I would share the Generous Wife that came in the email. Mainly because my hubby will be shopping today and I have given him nothing to shop by. Without further ado, here's the generous wife for today:

If you haven't already, I encourage you to give your husband some idea of what you would like for Christmas (guys typically lose their minds over picking out gifts and it's only kind to help them out, be clear and specific so your husband doesn't feel that he has to read your mind). Then whatever he gives you, love it. Your husband put thought, time, effort and money into your gift. To accept his gift is to accept him. Love the gift because he gave it to you as an expression of his love and appreciation. If it turns out you receive a particularly "unique" gift from him, just hug him and thank him and try to be a bit more specific the next time he needs gift ideas. Gift giving is an art to be learned and hubbies are learning just like we are.

God has given us two hands, one to receive with and the other to give with. Billy Graham

Funerals at Easter!

2007-12-11T21:52:00.000-06:00

All right, spent some time tonight enjoying a little R&R, catching up on some blogs. I stumbled on this hilarious post about this family's drama with a Christian preschool.

Enjoy the Undomestic Diva!

Life is not as quiet as my blog.

2007-12-11T17:58:00.000-06:00

All right - time to reveal what I have been working so hard on! I have put my skills to the test and opened a new business with Misti - The Friendly Freezer!

Most of you may know that I have been cooking for my freezer for over 2 years. Each month I get together with some fabulous ladies and plan what our families will eat each month. This is economical but more for me it's emotional. When I worked FT, I would drag my rear in the door each day and get hit with the 'what's for dinner?' requests from all my family members. If you live in my house or know my family - we are all a little perfectionistic and want our dish a certain way! Oh the drama!

Janet introduced me to freezer cooking and I changed the way our family table looked. Gone were the days of 'ewwww' and 'it's not what I want'. I discovered my DH was the lead contributer to these conversations - whatever judgement he gave to a meal the kids soon followed. By the end of the meal, I would wonder why I even cooked at all for these ungrateful souls. Really, not exageratting here, they were extremely rude and ungrateful.

By moving to the freezer method, I switched the blame and anger to the freezer. I stopped my husband dead cold and explained the level of disrespect he issued in this area. And I gave them the words to say 'this isn't my favorite' and that's it about a meal. Slowly, our dinner table became a place of enjoyment and not judgement for the entire meal.

Because this is my story and cooking is a life long skill of mine, Misti & I decided to put it to the test! Click the link above to go to our business blog and check out our menu. We will be cooking 2 times a month and would love to include your family in our meal plans.

We cook for the first time this Friday for 13 families and over 50 meals! We are thrilled & hope to only grow this business as families take a sit at their own dinner tables and enjoy life together once again.

Total Scrapbook Post

2007-12-08T18:04:00.001-06:00

I was cruising through who had visited my site & noticed Monique's blog - she has me linked under her NSBR blogs and I really try to not repeat scrapbook posts. I post my LO's in galleries around the web and think that's enough about scrapbooking!

BUT today...I want to share some pages and celebrate a fabulous thing in the digi world - CREATIVE TEAMS!

I love being on a creative team. It gives you a little ego boost that a designer would like you to show off their fabulous products. It challenges you to scrap with something you might not have bought if it was up to your own freewill - now this isn't because of the designer, it's because as scrappers we have a tendency to buy our fave colors etc.

I recently got asked to join Darcy Baldwin's CT! This is just a guest spot & one I've been waiting for because Darcy has fabulous fonts. She has a true talent for making them look like realistic handwriting! Check out her Meta font below 'waiting for our' is in that font.

Another team I am on is Creative Confusion designs. I love the name - it fits me perfectly! But I really love their design style - rich colors and lots of FUNKY stuff! I open their files to work with and I get happy and I get inspired!

Both of these pages were made using their products.

I love that face Q made! He was totally playing around with R - jumping on her saying things like 'I love you!' & 'You're so sissy!' I was laughing so hard watching them that I am amazed I caught that shot! That's a total Q moment!

Well since you're still reading this post..I might as well share the other two teams I am on!

Of course I am on Jannylynn's CT. I am a certified lifelong member.

Here's a page with some of her latest stuff:

It was for a challenge to make a page about a birthday. I have to tell you I am not a big birthday scrapbooker. I love celebrating the day, but scrapbooking a birthday just seems so expected and boring.

Then the final team I am on & I am really pushing my limits being on 4 teams! There are scrappers out there that are on like a dozen teams! Luckily the teams I am on are laidback and fabulous people in the real world!

The final team is Sarah VanDyke. Sarah & Jannylynn's styles are very similar. One of the things I love about Sarah's work is that she makes awesome templates. Her templates are clean and easy to work with. I find that they offer a lot of room for creativity. Sometimes templates can have too many details added in & I usually find myself hitting the delete key on those templates and adding my own flair completely! Here is a page I made with her templates and products:

The template before Tina:

The template after Tina:

I totally flipped this page around and changed the look of all her layers! I love the results of this!

Thanks for reading all this & I hope you understand digi scrappin' a little more. This is what I do for fun to relax & get some talented designers noticed!

Hmmm maybe I should post about another passion of mine tomorrow? Tell me what are you passionate about - blog it and come back & link me up in the comments!

I am me.

2007-12-07T07:50:00.000-06:00

I found this poem years ago. It was when I was learning that a lot of life I had experienced wasn't my fault, that it was okay to be who I was created to be and that feelings are just feelings. I think it's a great reminder to hit the pause button. Also, I am thinking this may be good for my pre-teen kiddos to know.

I am me.

by Virginia Satir

I am me.
In all the world, there is no one exactly like me.
There are persons who have some parts like me,
but no one adds up exactly like me.

Therefore, everything that comes out of me
is authentically mine because I alone choose it.
I own everything about me
my body, including everything it does;
my mind, including all its thoughts and ideas;
my eyes, including the images of all they behold;
my feelings, whatever they may be...
anger,
joy,
frustration,
love,
disappointment,
excitement
my mouth, and all the words that come out of it
polite,
sweet or rough,
correct or incorrect;
my voice, loud or soft.
And all my actions, whether they be to others or to myself.

I own my fantasies, my dreams, my hopes, my fears.
I own all my triumphs and successes,
all my failures and mistakes.
Because I own all of me I can become intimately acquainted with me.
By doing so I can love me and be friendly with me in all parts.
I can then make it possible for all of me to work in my best interests.

I know there are aspects about myself that puzzle me,
and other aspects that I do not know.
But as long as I am friendly and loving to myself,
I can courageously and hopefully, look for solutions to the puzzles
and for ways to find out more about me.

However I look and sound, whatever I say and do, and whatever I thinkand feel at a given moment in time is me.
This is authentic and represents where I am in that moment in time.
When I review later how I looked and sounded, what I said and did, and how Ithought and felt, some parts may turn out to be unfitting.
I can discard that which is unfitting, and keep that which proved fitting,
And invent something new for that which I discarded.

I can see, hear, feel, think, say and do.
I have the tools to survive, to be close to others, to be productive,
and to make sense and order out of the world of people and things outside of me.
I own me, and therefore I can engineer me.

I am me and I am okay.

Letterboxing Simplified

2007-12-02T22:46:00.000-06:00

I always get weird looks or that sigh that says 'she's such a tomboy!' Whatever the case, here is an article that ran in our local paper about letterboxing. It's a sweet short article that demystifies letterboxing:

http://www.columbiamissourian.com/stories/2007/11/27/mid-missouri-makes-english-hobby-its-own/

What's great is it features Larry's assistant mgr - Robin!

This is a shot of Tricia & Anna on a hunt from early this fall...this was their first letterbox adventure!

I WANTED SNOW!

2007-12-02T22:11:00.001-06:00

I was all ready for the ice storm this weekend. I really wanted to nestle into my home for a couple of days.

Luckily, we did just that. I had 5 nights out in a row last week and I was exhausted. I loved every minute of it. Somehow I always forget that this time of the year I have holiday and seem to be gone tons! Saturday, we spent at home. All of us. It was so nice & relaxing. Made me wish I had the homebody gene, Q & I have the go-go pants gene and love to GO! He loves going on errands (R has never enjoyed leaving home & would cry & cry about leaving). He's just so different.

BUT - like I said I was ready for winter weather. So I scrapped about it instead. This is Gracie, DD of Fourtybefore40 from last winter. I just love this picture! The joy on her face just makes me happy!!!

I used everything from Theresa Hernandez's Winter Whites from ES.

The snow day was great! I haven't scrapped many of the pictures I got that day. So I kept up the snow theme and grabbed this one next:

This image was totally overexposed and I played around with it and got some funky colors out of it. Lots of filters run on this picture! But the products are from the hot design team of Creative Confusion using Snow Hip also at ES.

So maybe snow another day!

Holiday MUST!

2007-12-01T08:38:00.000-06:00

Do you have plans to see holiday movies? I love going to the movies. I may not watch much TV but going to the movies has never lost interest for me. Although as stated below - I have lost the budget for it!

We had movie passes and thought we would take the family out to see Fred Claus. IT ROCKED! Vince Vaughn was never a big fave of mine until I saw him in the Wedding Crashers and now his rambling wit cracks me up. I think mainly because I ramble sometimes as well if I am not watching my mouth!

Oh my friend Bex had this post 'Always Low Prices' on the holidays - enjoy the giggle!

I can blog.

2007-11-30T16:18:00.000-06:00

Well I thought I would try going a month without blogging and well I almost did it! I've been busy trying to solve some real life issues with our budget or lack of funds to support the budget is more accurate!

There is a lot of great stuff happening that I haven't even told you about! I got off track when we went to the Busick Family Retreat. We rented a lodge & all 24 of us stayed together & played all weekend. It was great - beyond great!

The lodge was nestled in the woods. The leaves were all golden, brown & red - lots of golden because it was mainly oak woods. All weekend they would fall - floating to the ground. It was a sight to see!

Here are some family photos:

I also thought I would do a Friday Feast for you as well!

Appetizer
What is your favorite carnival/amusement park ride?

I am not an amusement park person. I was brought up being told it was a 'waste' of money because what did you have to 'show' for the money spent. For the first few years of dating Larry, I would cringe when we would go because of the money issue. Then I came to realize you know what..this is fun and it's OK to pay for fun.

Soup
How do you react in uncomfortable social situations?

I just start talking. Something smart, I will say something embarrassing and I can usually control the outcomes. Yup that's right, I try to get control and I am proud of it!

Salad
On a scale of 1-10 with 10 being highest, how much do you enjoy discussing deep, philosophical topics?

ummmm 10 - my only one I start to nod on is when deep literature is used to explain something simple - like ummm can't we just say - this is meaningful because the sound of snow falling at night is something you have to stop and listen to in complete silence ....instead of 'the way the writer expresses their inner chi in a snowstorm is tremendously engaging!'

Main Course
Did you get a flu shot this year? If not, do you plan to?

no and no I don't plan on it - I am not convinced it's a beneficial shot

Dessert
Approximately how many hours per week do you spend watching television?

probably about 10 - it depends if I get to watch everything I actually recorded. I have a friend who is a complete TV nut and tracks stuff - I think it's great b/c she always has something to talk about - I had no idea there was a writer's strike going on! Last night at a party she was sharing about it and I discovered 24 may not happen this year - what? panic? I had no idea!

Christmas Beavers

2007-11-06T14:24:00.000-06:00

I know it's amazing that I haven't blogged in some time! I just haven't been inspired by much lately and hiding in my scrapbook supplies. I'm either reading or scrapping when I need to hide from the world. So Tara comes along over at ES and challenges us each day to blog & give us an inspiration. Here is mine for today:

Have you started your holiday shopping yet? Why or why not? If you have, what do you think about the shameless procrastinators? If you haven't, what do you think about the annoying eager beavers?

I have not started shopping yet. I have not had the money to do extra shopping. Life necessities are too great right now. The kids and I all need new coats. I need new winter clothes after loosing 40 lbs from last winter, nothing fits and feels very uncomfortable. Over the summer I rebuilt my summer wardrobe and now I get to begin again with my winter wardrobe. I am eager to head over to Goodwill to see what they have in stock. I love finding a good bargain there and used jeans are always in supply.

We have decided this year our Christmas budget will go towards one major family gift. We are currently taking advice from the kids on what they think would benefit us all. It has to be something we can all enjoy and do together as a family and as individuals. Our best solution to date is getting a Wii. We all want guitar hero and a Wii..and guitar hero just came out for the Wii...there hasn't been another idea that tops it other than a mini vacation.

I have lots of dreams for the holidays. I hope this year to actually mail some cards out. I think I will just make a list of 10 and start from there. Do them in 10s and mail them in 10s. When I print my database and there are over 75 families listed..whew...you get the idea. Last year I was overwhelmed when I added up the postage for 50 cards! That was the cost of a tank of gas! As you can imagine, none got sent last year!

I am OK with the eager beavers in the world. They have time and resources to jump in, then I say go for it. I may be eager on something that a Christmas beaver could care less about. I figure it all comes together in the end. Plus, I will leave my decorations up well into January, so I will have some extra nights of my living room glowing from the tree lights. I just love that.

Cookies!

2007-11-04T09:00:00.000-06:00

Quizes to live by...

2007-10-12T07:58:00.000-05:00

OK so not really...why I like these silly things I don't know...earlier this week when I was tired and tired and not really sure what to do...I took slackermom...came out to be zenMother like all my pals...

This morning I ran into this one on the Org Junkie's blog:

Take the 100 Acre Personality Quiz!

Not sure I can define myself by this - I am slow sometimes because I am too busy dreaming in my head - but I did take this quiz after 3 sips of coffee...and I'm still tired...so that's about all the credit I give it all!

P. Jelly Picnic

2007-10-02T22:54:00.001-05:00

I have to share my most inspiring moment today. Q & I went to storytime at our library today. It was totally enjoyable thanks to the Household Exec. to keep us company.

On the way home, Q just leans back with a sigh and says 'I want a P. Jelly & go on a picnic.'

I think it's a great idea & inside my head a big fat 'WHY NOT?' came through my brain.

So I replied, 'Hey buddy that's a great idea! Let's go to the park for a picnic! Would you like to learn how to make a P. Jelly?'

'YES!' was all I heard and a big beaming 3 year old face was the peek I got from visor mirror.

We go home and my industrious student immediately opens the fridge - grabs the jelly, bread & peanut butter. 'I'm READY MOM! Let's have a P. Jelly Picnic!' I tell him put the ingredients on the table and PAUSE for a bathroom break. He complies and I take off for the bathroom. As I am coming out of the bathroom, I am greeted by my aspiring pupil with two knives in his hands, brandishing them like swords!

'I got the knives MOM! Let's make P. Jelly!'

We go through the motions. You know the recipe - I think...
we start off with peanut butter. My mind says 'If this is going to work - now is the defining moment of my challenge...or maybe the student is only as good as the teacher???' My little guy spreads the peanut butter with ease! 'Look at you big guy!'

'Yeah now I can make P. Jelly when I want to!' was his response!

We pack up our cuisine and head out to Stephens Lake. I love this park. It has the most beautiful pond setting and nature area - it fills my nature fix quick! We head out and I give the choice - a bench near the water or the rocks on the water? My little event planner declares 'BENCH!' Which is funny because I was shooting for the rocks - bummer mommy!

We set up our picnic on the bench. Chat a little. I am watching him and he is absolutely the proudest little guy of his accomplishment. This kiddo stole my heart on our first night together in the hospital and he continues to do so.

It was a perfect way to stop the day. I lived fully alive in such a perfect moment that I remembered to soak in it. Melody has challenged in her blog to live each day and embrace the life we've been given. Simply put, this is my life!

One year & Official Box Count

2007-09-27T07:09:00.001-05:00

This is a quick post to blow off some bloggin' jones that has crept in...
We went boxing yesterday and found a fabulous find of Missouri history .. I will post more on that as soon as I do some research!

One of the most common questions I get is - how many have you found & which ones. I checked our totals yesterday:

64 FOUND
4 ATTEMPTED

That's one a week over our first year of letterboxing! Here is our list of found boxes:

A Bear's Tail

My Sassy Secret

Mid MO Mystery

Aphrodite

The Captain's Quest

Hug 'O War: FB Vol II, Box I

Gnome Home

The Birthday Box (Currenlty Missing)

Box of Leaves #1

Rocking with Clyde

Higher Education

Ace of Diamonds

Grindstone

Buried Jewells

School House Rock Series: Grammar Rock #2

Southwest Vision Quest #3: "Howl at the Moon'

Looney Tunes on the Loose! #1: Whats Up Doc?

Looney Tunes on the Loose! #3: I Tawt I Taw...

Sylvester and the Magic Pebble

Alley Cat

Wild Mushroom Series: #2 Chicken of the Woods

Ode to Charlotte

Looney Tunes on the Loose! #5: Taz Hungry!

Looney Tunes on the Loose! #2: Greetings Earthling

Monster Tree with Irish Roots

Wagon Wheel (Mid-MO)

Trillium, Trillium

Rocking the Bench

Southwest Vision Quest #2: "Kokopelli"

Looney Tunes on the Loose! #4: You're Despicable!

Favorite Games - Scrabble

Sunny

Pride of Missouri - The Tiger

School House Rock Series: Grammar Rock #3

The Architects Series #1 Saarinen MicroLetterbox

Rocking with Love

Da Vinci in the Park

Flower Power!

School House Rock Series: Grammar Rock #1

Southwest Vision Quest #1: "On the Rocks"

Good Boy Fergus: FB Vol II Box VI

Neighborhood Park

The Happy Birthday Box

Shelter Gardens

The Runaway Bunny: FB I

Narf

Forget-me-not lb

Civic Duty

Hometown Spirit

A Drive Interrupted

Scooby Doo Mystery #1

Scooby Doo Mystery #2

Birds of Mid-MO; Box III

Devil's Kitchen

Art In The Park #1

Ravenswood

Pa John's Letterbox

Harry Truman - Summer White House

CMRT 2007 Series #4--Butterflies are Free

CMRT 2007 Series #3--Godspell

CMRT 2007 Series #1--City of Maples Repertory Theatre

CMRT 2007 Series #5--Dames at Sea

CMRT 2007 Series #2--I Do! I Do!

Where Have All the Flowers Gone: Dark-Eyed Lady

Girl's Guide

2007-09-23T22:47:00.000-05:00

I love quick tips - really who has time to read a dissertation on menu planning, wines or anything else? I don't. So I love when I come across information that is complete - concise - and something I need to know. My latest read is The Girl's Guide to Everything I just read a really helpful section on work - discovered some great things about myself (which I will post soon, don't want to put you to snooze).

But here was a quip that really rang true in my spirit:

Your Personal Network

Your closest friends and family comprise your 'personal network' - they're the ones who love you and believe in you no matter what foolish faux pas you might make at dinner with a prospective client. Get rid of non-believers, naysayers, people who bring you down, jealous people who may feel threatened by you. They are the ones who filter your success through the lens of how they see themselves, and their advice is going to be tainted by their pettiness.

Who doesn't need that reminder - have you had some naysayers creep in your life and offer you a drink of their poison? This got me thinking about these kind of folks - I never realized that their world view is so selfish 'through the lens of how they see themselves'. I know some negative periods of my life, I was surrounded by such people and couldn't breathe!

Right now, my world only has a couple of such people. Really not bad, but it sure makes me wonder if I have projected such a manner? I am certain I have because who doesn't go through a selfish stint or season? I know this was the mindset I grew up with 24/7 and that may be why this resonates with my heart so much. But it does give you something to think about!

SHINE ON!

2007-09-18T20:08:00.000-05:00

Today I spent the day driving through H**L! That's right - no stopping for a tour of it - just moving on!

Janny sent me the name of her new scrapbook product - glitter alphabets for pages. She chose to name them 'Shine On' after this song. I needed the reminder that all was good in the world and really the impact our lives have on one another - this will keep you going & I ran OUT of H**l as soon as I saw it. Here is the link she sent for the video.

Corn Maze - She did what she could....

2007-09-17T00:31:00.001-05:00

This is an event I have been wanting to blog about for a while.

Our family has spent the last two weeks going to the corn maze. We have a local family who opens up their farm to the community each year - Shryocks Callaway Farms.
This year their 15 acre maze is in tribute to the St Louis Cardinals for being the World Series Champs. Check out the link to see the maze design!

It took us about 2 hours to go through the maze from top to bottom. We were given a map and off we went. In the center of the maze is an elevated platform. On top of the platform you can see above the field & make out some of the design.

The first night we went, we arrived about 3 hours before sundown. We took the camera but Q became tired & Larry left the maze with the boy & camera. R & I took off to get to the center of the maze. We arrive at the platform to see a beautiful purple sunset stretching over the corn fields. We just stood there and took it in. My heart started to quietly whisper worship to the Creator in gratitude. I need beauty to inspire me & move me forward in life. R & I stood there snuggled on the bridge watching the sunset for a few minutes. It was long enough for my heart & mind to rest that the world was OK & I am OK.

Our second trip out was last Sunday. We spent Sunday afternoon walking around in the heat. Cole was not with us on the first trip & this was his first experience. He & R ran off on their own through the maze. They were proud of their independence from mom, dad & little bro. We caught up with them on the platform. I had the camera with me this time to catch some shots of the view. I posed the kids a few times & kept shouting 'this is the family Christmas card..look cute!' They liked that line. Don't hold your breath on getting a card from us though - I am notoriously known around here for getting everything but the postage stamps.

I love these times with my family. It restores so much hope into me. It really helps me see that these kids are going to be well in the future. Simply put: it's all OK - all the anxiety & fear is not going to help!

My simple consolation is this: She did what she could...it's in the Bible about a woman who worshiped with what she had at the feet of Jesus. Looking at my hands & heart, then grabbing the camera - I see that I am doing what I can do with my kids. That's what is hopeful & full of gratitude at the end of each ordinary day.

What are you doing with what is in your hands? I hope that it is all that you can do!

Gratitude STOP!!!

2007-09-15T08:35:00.001-05:00

I have been on a crazy run & time demands for the last two weeks. Lots of stress, anxiety & fears were revealed to me and I have embraced all those for two weeks. I could not blog or do a lot of other healthy things because of those blockers.

But I decided to STOP! It was time to think about what is good, true & lovely.

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things. Phillippians

This verse truly speaks to me in a practical way. Too often I find myself looking at worry far too often during a day. I look around my day and immediately see what is lacking & I will start fretting about how to solve whatever the issue is - irregardless of whether it truly is mine to solve or it's just too big to solve today.

Here is the list I came up with:

For my community - friends, freezerchicks, T2 leaders, Donna, Janet & Mindi

Release from anxiety

For Putting my family first

The ability to care for my home

Increasing relationship with my husband

Creative skills & the desire to create

Being a mother

Understanding my limitations & respecting them, not living beyond myself

Leading others to the Father - my pastoral gifts

For my depression

Lament as a discipline to touch the desire of God's created order as He intended this world to be

Joy of children

When I got done with this list and went to read some other blogs, I discovered I wasn't alone in feeling grateful. Ali's list was inspirational! The above image is from a recent letterboxing adventure in Macon MO. I love Missouri Skies and how the clouds will float above the green hills on a breezy summer day. I can gaze forever at the beauty. There is a letterbox in this picture - can you guess where it's at?

What are you thinking about?

Goodmorning EE!

2007-09-06T00:16:00.000-05:00

Goodmorning EE!

My friend EE is going to wake up to this blog header in her email:

EE has waited so long for her header - but I kept coming up short of inspiration for her blog. Not that her blog isn't inspiring, I just didn't want to do something pure sporty. EE is a very sporty chick - she's on a mom's soccer team - how can you not admire that? So, I have been thinking long & hard about how to capture EE in a blog header. This is my first attempt - so let's hope she falls in love with it!

Thanks EE for the challenge!

Larry!

2007-09-05T20:58:00.000-05:00

Happy Birthday Sweetie!

Today is my husband Larry's 39th birthday! I've known Larry since 1990 and truly dating since 1992. I really feel a lot of times that he is the one that has kept me sane and level. He truly is a man who on the outside is truly who he is on the inside - steady, loving and giving.

I love sharing life with you sweetie. I love how we spur each other on and keep adventures rolling!

Tackle It Tuesday

2007-09-04T10:36:00.000-05:00

I have not participate in a Tackle It Tuesday before..since I blogged about my SMART Habit momagenda planner, I would share what's on it today.

~~1. laundry - done up properly!~~
2. resume - applying for a job & need to update, format the resume
~~3. tricia - setting up a meeting, preparing for our Take 2 group - meeting in the AM!~~
~~4. hobby lobby - DH birthday present~~
~~5. dance - drive DD to dance~~
~~6. library - return overdues at least! I would love to check out a couple of books~~
~~7. menu plan - for this week only~~
8. blog banner - design blog banner for dance blog

I think that's enough! Some of these are easy and I hope I can throw in a few extras that are a bonus!

What are you doing today?

While on a break from the laundry - I found some serious inspiration from the lazy organizer's flickr album I am very fond of her refrigerator ideas today!

Smart Habit Saturday

2007-09-01T09:09:00.001-05:00

I don't have much inspiration this morning. I am feeling a little down because I have a UTI, and my mind is feeling overwhelmed by so much!

This week I bought the momagenda:

I have been frustrated by not having 2008 calendar. Franklin Covey got me through this year, but it wasn't my fave - I used a daily version, but I really need to see a week at a time & keep track of multiple schedules. The mom agenda has the time slots at the top of the page, 4 spots for other schedules underneath (mine is being used for DD - Rebekah & DH - Larry) & a week at a time! Plus the color available are gorgeous! This is even more important to me!

I just started using it and don't have my 2008 dates in there yet - took my kiddos to Burger King to play & ran into another mommy friend - so we had to visit for the 2 hours! Then I was too tired afterwards to finish it up. But I am totally inspired by this product!

Over the next week I plan to finish it up and get my menu planned. Also, I need to do some OAMC for the freezerchicks.

Honor

2007-08-30T08:52:00.000-05:00

I am 35 and entering into a new arena of life.
Never thought I would be here, but here I be!

This week I have been taking care of my mom. She had surgery Monday and all went well even with some setbacks - it's all well.

We are in the outpatient surgery area and getting all the paper work verified. The nurse asks 'We don't have your living will and power of attorney on file..who is that?'

Mom points to me.

Nurse to me 'We need the legal documents can you get those?'

Me - 'Yes..'

I knew my mom had appointed me legally and law binding her living will decision maker (this is listing only me and not my brother) and power of attorney to both of us. I go to her house and get the documents and really read them for the first time.

Now the day has changed on me completely. I have officially become responsible for the care of my mother. I feel very heavy. I feel very responsible (this is not a new feeling, but rather an old friend and enemy). I feel tired. I feel like making a plan.

I go into super responsible mode and get the job done.

For the last 3 days I have:

-pushed my mother to get better 'you need to walk, get up and get going' ... she whines at me, my response 'I will not baby you, that's not my job here, if you want to be babied ask for Keary (my younger brother)' She glares at me and gets up. I stay steady and look back with 'you picked me to do this job, so you will follow me'

-cooked 12 meals in 4 hours to stock pile in her freezer

-juggled the 3 year old and his needs while keeping track of hospital paperwork, prescription refills, fixing lunch for everyone

-coordinated care for when I was not there with my brother & her friends

-listened to her physicians & asked questions that I knew she wouldn't ask or want to hear the answers to

-talked to my dad on the day of the proceedure to update him because that's what she wanted & he did call (if you don't know this - I do not speak to my father)

Driving home last night I was tired, but good tired. I was reflecting while driving and singing Jesus songs (that's what Q calls worship music - I like it) and the gentle whisper came to me

'You honored your mother & father well'

What? I didn't want this job, I am maxed out on obligations and abilities and strangely this was an easy/hard and light burden for me at the same time. My mind and heart shifted to the whisper and my soul resonated with it more. I did well and I worshiped God through my actions, it was all an act of worship! Oh how I soared in my spirit!

Later that night, Larry & I were talking about everything and reconnecting. Larry stops and looks at me 'I know things aren't the greatest with your mom and she is a burden, but you really did what God says 'honor your mother & father'" I dropped my jaw! Here again, God was delighting my heart & living in the moment with me. It was as if He himself wanted to to join the celebration of life that had happened over the last 3 days. Although it was his laws & worship, in that moment with Larry I saw a little bit of God jumping into this side of life to add to the celebration. He couldn't resist such a moment!

My heart & mind are very at peace. It's a sweet place to rest my head from all the emotions of the last few days. That is such a sweet gift!

Go worship in the way you were made to this week - get beyond a song and join God in life!

Rhyme & Reason

2007-08-26T23:23:00.000-05:00

I have taken up reading the newspaper regularly. I was feeling very disconnected to my community and the evening news & local news websites aren't very informative. I cannot pay attention to NPR due to small yelling children - so I started reading the newspaper every Wed & Sun.

Those two days keep me very informed about our city. Today I learned that my new favorite author Sara Gruen who wrote the city's One Read novel Water for Elephants will be making a trip to Columbia on Oct 2! The book itself was really great story and I recommend it highly - if you would like to join me on Oct 2 - let's go!

Here's the reason for this post. I don't know anything about this little section - Rhyme & Reason. In it is the title and this inspirational poem:

I am am

I am spiritually anchored
I am earth anchored

I want to know why
I want to try and try

I want to seek God
I want to elevate man

I want to love all
I want to differentiate

I want to know silence
I want to embrace the clamor

I want to be at home
I want to build a home

I want to be one with you
I want to be left alone

I am now
I am in time

-- Bob Dragani

I think I found such simple words that sum up all that I am currently. I will be thinking on this more and reflecting through the statements - let you know how that goes!

Kid Safe

2007-08-26T10:16:00.001-05:00

Last Thursday we went to the Columbia Balloon Invitational. The evening was a disappointment because the balloons could not fly due to high winds. But we walked around the few vendors that were there and had fun.

One of the funnest and eye opening was the Kid Safe area. They had the typical car set check and other general safety. But they had something different and one Larry & I had not considered before.

It was a visual test for parents to sit in a car and see how far out the child would have to be behind the vehicle in order to be seen. Apparently, this is a common child injury that is on the rise. The general rule is that a child cannot be seen until 12 feet from the back of the vehicle. Have you ever seen 12 feet from behind your car? It's a long way! Go check the distance when you're done here.

They went a step further. Larry sat in the car and watched all the mirrors. They took Quinten down a path of dots on the ground that were measured out every 2 feet. Then we would stop Quinten and ask Larry if he could see Quinten yet..no was the answer at 12 ft - no at 14 ft and no even at 20 ft from behind the car. I stood there amazed. I thought surely at 20 ft Quinten could be seen. But he couldn't - our eyes were opened to just how real of danger this is for children.

I would challenge you to take your kids outside and have one spouse sit in the car and the other walk with the kid behind the car to try it yourselves. I think you will be shocked like we were.

Quinten met TJ the tiger, the MU Children's Hospital Mascot, and loved him immediately. He wanted to share his Pepsi with TJ and all the way home he talked about TJ. TJ was the hit for Quinten and the ball they gave him.

Try the safety test, it will amaze you.

PS..we have placed a letterbox at the event site through the month of August - go get it Missouri Skies

Smart Habit Saturday

2007-08-18T21:18:00.001-05:00

I think this has to be one of my fave meme's out there. This is my first time participating, but I read these on some of the fabulous gals in my bloglines each week.

My first Smart Habit was moving from typepad over to blogger. Although, it doesn't sound like much money to concern myself with, $9 a month is back into my pocket. This comes from over the last couple of months of really understanding how a one income family needs to work. We've never been an one income family and we really don't know what the heck to do. All the money I used to make didn't seem like much, but we sure played with that money. What would you do with an extra $9 in your pocket? For me, that pays for gas to take my daughter, Rebekah to dance each week.

The next habit has been developing all week. I have be reading Silos, Politics & Turf Wars by Patrick Lencioni. I have been a fan of Patrick's work since Five Dysfunctions of Team came out and I have heard him speak at the Leadership Summit. At Woodcrest, this time last year, the staff was working through this material. Patrick challenges that while there is a big vision to accomplish there needs to be a motivating rallying cry (i.e. thematic goal) for teams to get around to help eliminate turf wars on the job. It was great working through this on a staff level, but I was totally sidtracked that my thoughts and heart went back to my family. I developed the thematic goal for our family and we have been focused on that for the last year fairly intentionally - we have spent the last year developing our schedules to where the family was priority and our commitments were secondary.

Another year has passed and I can say that as a family, we have hit the mark over the last year. Plus, I can point to several things that have made it successful: a break from dance over the summer, family hobby of letterboxing (each family member owns a piece of that hobby) and at least 5 - 6 meals each week at night together. These are the largest measurable objectives that we used to develop our family as priority.

As fall is approaching, I have been thinking, where do we go as a family? I really do own the vision for our family so I have to lead out from it. I grabbed the book and gave it a thorough reading. I had only read the implementing part of the book while on staff (that was all the was required to save $$ from every staff member getting a book - honestly, I was a little lost because I didn't have the whole concept down!) and hearing Patrick. Now I am fired up on creating a new thematic goal. Tomorrow is our first family meeting since the beginning of summer and I am going to launch into this idea. I can't wait to see what comes out of my big kids mouths!

Here is my idea:

The thematic goal for 2007-2008 is:
Making our time Count.

We each have different goals right now as individual family members and we are pulling a little at each other to get them done. Which is a healthy tension, but we need to get these out in the open and support each other in reaching them.

Each family member will get 5 big 'YES' goals for the year (less is OK).
The 'YES' goal is simply what is your goal for the year, then as we are arranging our personal time and family time, we can look at the goals and see if it fits in one of the 5 'YES' goals for the individual. If the item asking for our time doesn't fit into one of the 'YES' goals, then we can clearly say 'NO' to that item and move on.

Sounds so simple and clear doesn't it? I can't wait to plan my days, look up on the wall at my index cards and say 'NO' more often to those items that rob my time. I need that visual reminder.

Movin' into my new blog home...

2007-08-18T21:11:00.001-05:00

Ladies and Gentlemen,

Welcome to my new spot on the web. I have decided to close my other blog to save a few $$ each month.

Typepad has great service and features, but little ol' blogger has really come up to speed, so I am making the move from my fancy pants typepad blog to here!

It will be interesting as I get settled in and dress up the blog!